“I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”

Well come to think of it, what the heck is exactly am looking for? I kinda think of living this life as if I were a zombie. Capable of meeting any demand of any circumstance yet have problem in seeing and understanding the big picture. I questioned a lot of things but it were (and are) more superficial I guess. I realized I fail to see what’s important in life because I have no clue about it. So far, what matters to me is me. Everything else that I thought important e.g. family, friends, altruistic causes, were actually things that make me feel better about oneself. So the bitter truth is here: I am an artificial egocentric bastard who thinks of oneself better and above anything and anyone else. But realizing it doesn’t necessarily means that I’ve got an epiphany or sumthin’ like that. To tell you the truth, I don’t even think that such AHA moment will be happening to me anytime soon since I am still busy being a self-absorbed kind of person. So there you go: a contradictive self try to cling on hope for a better understanding about life yet too selfish to let go the comfort zone and start a new venture. No wonder I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…