A Confession from the Land of the Unknown

It is the moment of arrival –at a ship’s dock or an airport lounge.
There are feelings of excitement, fear, disappointment and relief.
Some carry a single suitcase; others wait for a shipping container.
Alone or surrounded by the family, it is a step into the unknown.
The journey has only just begun…
(As written in the Immigration Museum, Melbourne)

It hit me right away. Indeed, nothing is truer than what it says. My journey here has only just begun. I am excited to learn more. Excited to test my own limitations and boundaries; get to know myself in a more intimate way: starts another chapter.

I remember when I arrived in this country a month ago: I was nervous but I try to maintain my calm. I was afraid but I managed to appear composed and confident. It is the mentality set that I applied to manipulate my own brain: everything is all right (which it really is the case) despite my anxious “what ifs” state.

Then there were time when I have gone sensitive on things. In retrospect, I know that I am in the unknown, just like what the writing above suggests, and although I can fool people by making a convincing attitude and gestures (that I am OK, always ready for whatever it may come) I actually cannot fool myself. I miss my familiar support system: my family, my friends.

Yes, my journey has only just begun. How will it turns out? Who knows? But just like the late Layla Mirza once told me: one baby step at a time. And my first baby step is admitting that I am not always strong and brave. I actually not as solitaire as I thought before. I have just arrived & nervous to start my cruise…