A Jihad for Love

I watched A Jihad for Love yesterday with a very good friend of mine. It’s about gay Muslims try to find their place in Islam. It’s a bit weird concept for some, but I find the film incredibly interesting; particularly because I watched the film with gay people and non-Muslim audience. The responses, the ambience was interesting for my part.

The film started with a South African Imam came out in a radio program that he is gay. When he found out that he is different from any other boys, he try to get some consolation from the Qur’an and decided to learn more about Islam in Pakistan. To ‘solve the problem’ he was married once. His turning point was when his ‘purely platonic friend’ left and he found himself crying uncontrollably. He then told his wife and came clean. They divorced, but he maintains a close relationship with his two daughters. The daughters know that their father is a gay and support him in a very sweet and loving way albeit their young age.

There are several stories with different characters and settings throughout the film but the underlying thread is the ijtihad, struggle within self, to find a way in accepting the fact that they are gay as well as being a good Muslim. There is this Indian guy, that is illiterate and longing for acceptance; religiously and socially. Unfortunately, he came to an Imam that could not answer his queries but preach him to go to a psychologist instead. Apparently the Imam believes that ‘gay-ness’ is a sickness. The dialog was heartbreaking. The gay man wants some answers. The Imam wants to help. But it just didn’t work; to their understanding, homosexuality and Islam cannot coexist. It just doesn’t fit.

I know that I’m not a good Muslim. But I find myself a little bit uneasy when the audiences laugh at some verses and hadiths that are cited, as well as the Imams’ interpretation and explanation. Yes, I laugh myself sometimes because of some comments made, but I have a little bit of double standard yesterday. It’s like, it’s OK when I laugh because I’m a Muslim, but it’s not OK if they laugh. This feeling startled me a bit, but then I realize that I’m just like those gay in the film. I try to find own place in the room full of non Muslims watching a film about Islam (and homosexuality) because I have my preconception (about being a Muslim in a non Muslim environment) and I believe so do they. Then the issue of ijtihad becomes relevant. To my surprise, I can relate with the gay men’s cause.

Another interesting part of the film is when a lesbian couple consulted to a book about their place in Islam. If I’m not mistaken, they have never come across to any verse within the Qur’an that mentioned lesbians. And it got me. Yes, I rarely (if not barely) open the Qur’an, let alone studying the verses (with translation obviously); but I realize that I haven’t came across to anything related to lesbians. I’ve read about the Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah, but it refers to the relationship between men (oh, the South African Imam that I told you earlier, has an interesting and compelling interpretation about it). The funny thing is that the lesbian couple came across to a book that tries to define lesbian relationship. In short, it says something about sex without penetration (and yes, the audiences and I were laughing); hence one of the couple feels that being a lesbian is not a sin. Because the keyword there is penetration, and they don't do sexual intercourse. It is heartbreaking for me because (I think) the simplistic conclusion is their only way to find some consolation on their everyday emotional struggle. And I cried with them; because I too rationalize things in a simplistic way every now and then.

As far as I know, homosexuality does not go well with any religion. But the courage of the gay people portrayed; the conviction to their faith and believe that Allah is benevolent and merciful; that Allah created them for a reason because for them, being gay is not something they do by choice; is extraordinary. There is this question asked by an atheist about why they still believes in Islam. I didn’t remember the answer; but I admire their audacity…