layar yang bisu dan tanpa daya menjadi tempat yang tepat untuk tumpahkan semua. objek yang tidak akan pernah jadi subjek. tanpa komplikasi. tanpa kompromi. sesederhana itu.

Friday, September 21, 2007

“I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”

Well come to think of it, what the heck is exactly am looking for? I kinda think of living this life as if I were a zombie. Capable of meeting any demand of any circumstance yet have problem in seeing and understanding the big picture. I questioned a lot of things but it were (and are) more superficial I guess. I realized I fail to see what’s important in life because I have no clue about it. So far, what matters to me is me. Everything else that I thought important e.g. family, friends, altruistic causes, were actually things that make me feel better about oneself. So the bitter truth is here: I am an artificial egocentric bastard who thinks of oneself better and above anything and anyone else. But realizing it doesn’t necessarily means that I’ve got an epiphany or sumthin’ like that. To tell you the truth, I don’t even think that such AHA moment will be happening to me anytime soon since I am still busy being a self-absorbed kind of person. So there you go: a contradictive self try to cling on hope for a better understanding about life yet too selfish to let go the comfort zone and start a new venture. No wonder I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…

Monday, September 17, 2007

“If there’s an extra ticket, would you go with me?”

The line might be cheesy for some. Even for me. But somehow I didn’t feel like it anymore. Last night I watched “In the Mood for Love” instead of doing the freaking assignment and got blown away by the film. (A big thank you for Lucky for the information and the link!) The cinematography was insanely fabulous and the script was just beautifully sad. Truly is heartbreaking. Although I kinda think that Maggie Chung’s wardrobes were a bit surreal (but hey, she indeed has a flattering figure) but the whole story was graciously depicted. As if I was watching a 90 minutes of never ending sequence of exquisite still photos.

“If there’s an extra ticket, would you go with me?”

I have a confident in me for nobody will ask me this kind of question. At least I don’t expect this kind of question ever asked. Nonetheless, if by any chance somebody did ask me this question, I’ll be puzzled. Should I or shouldn’t I? Dare I? Dare I not? A gazillion of questions might pop up and left one numb. And the probability of parted with whichever side is an absolute promise of nerve wreck. Yet Wong Kar Wai successfully portrayed the life changing outcome of such question. I did not get the Angkor Wat scene at the beginning, but after a thorough explanation from Lucky, I do understand now. The secret must be shared. It doesn’t matter if you shared it with the loved one(s), a complete stranger (just like Mr. Timberlake there), or even a crack in the wall of Angkor Wat’s ruins. It must be shared. Otherwise, the only betrayal will come from oneself, for the way Freud sees it many years ago, secret will oozes from oneself fingertips.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

untuk kamu tentang kesepianmu

kamu : aku kesepian

aku : cari kesibukan lain dong

kamu : sekolah seperti kamu?

aku : tidak harus sekolah, traveling saja

seandainya kamu tahu

sepi selalu datang tiba-tiba

tidak peduli tempat tidak peduli waktu

aku selalu senang jadi tempatmu berkeluh

karena dulu kamu pula yang temani kesepianku

menjawab teleponku

menemaniku mengobrol

menyemangati dan menghiburku

berbagi mimpi-mimpi dan saling memuji

kamu : aku kesepian lagi

aku : berburu fotolah untukku

kamu : maaf mengganggumu

sahabat, kamu tidak pernah menggangguku

aku selalu punya telinga untukmu

karena kamu tidak pernah cengeng bagiku

karena aku pun merindukan malam-malam panjang

penuh cerita penuh keluh

sambil ditemani secangkir minuman hangat

atau martabak yang kau bawakan untukku

kamu,

jangan ragu untuk berbagi sepimu

gundahmu dan jenuhmu

karena aku bisa bermegah dan memberi petuah

untuk sekejap kemudian tertawatawa lagi denganmu

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Tempus Fugit

Past has merged with present and start to hunt future
How the messines has took the reign over